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Likes & Limits

What are likes & limits?

They are your preferences. Things you (in general) like. Some of them vary over time, some of them do not.

Using an opt-in model

When discussing likes & limits, it can help to be very specific about what you want to do at that specific time. Relaxation? Sensation? Arousal? What kind? What is your plan?

The opt-in model will focus the discussion on the intentions of a trance for safety, especially with someone relatively new.

Would you like to have a nice relaxing session? With some mental and physical relaxation, no additional suggestions and no touching is needed.

They are preferences, not permission

Just because someone really likes something (like fractionation), that doesn't mean they want to do it right now, with you. It's important to negotiate and get Informed Consent before you start.

You said you like fractionation and confusion inductions.
What do you feel like today?

It's easier to know what you don't like

For most people, it's easier to say "I don't want that" than "This is what I want". Try asking them what kind of dinner they want to have.

While limits are definitely important to know, it's very helpful to also know likes. What do you enjoy doing? What do they enjoy doing? Limits help set a boundary, likes help set a direction.

Think back on the last sessions you did, can you remember what you liked about them? What did you enjoy?

A limit is anything you want to avoid

Do you like Brussel sprouts? Spinach? If not, that is a limit. Don't like staring at a screen? Also a limit. Life is full of things we would prefer not to have happen to us. It's completely normal and healthy to have limits.

The more comfortable you can share them, the more happy everyone involved will be.

Double-check!

After you've discussed things, it's very helpful to repeat what you've heard to verify that you understand their limits (and they yours). Mutual respect makes everything nicer and being understood also creates a safe atmosphere for everyone.

Also remember that both hypnotist and subject have limits. Because the guidance usually comes from the hypnotist, they tend to naturally avoid their own limits. But it's still important to remember!

Alright, so you would like to experiment with amnesia play, limited only to the session and without any kind of sexual play, is that right?

Common Limits

While both Likes & Limits are very personal, there are a few that come up quite often. You might know/have only some or all of them. At the very least, any one of these should be explicitly discussed before veering in that direction.